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Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ is the son of God and the prophet of Christianity. He made made a few appearances in episodes of Drawn Together. Biography Jesus was first mentioned in the episode Hot Tub by Captain Hero, although not by name. This line, however, was cut from the episode for being too raunchy. When watching Clara and Foxxy make out, Captain Hero said "I'd nail any one of those broads like the son of God to the cross!" If you don't count from the deleted mention of his name in the first episode, Jesus was first mentioned in the episode Clara's Dirty Little Secret, where a flashback was shown to Clara, learning about Christianity. His name was not verbally said, but she said "Oh, he died on the cross for our sins, huh?" Later in the episode, Jesus' name was also seen on a check the Octopussoir was filling out for Jews for Jesus. Jesus was mentioned in the episode Requiem for a Reality Show, during The Bully Song, in the lyric "So stand up to that bully. Stand tall and true, just like Jesus stood up to those misguided Jews." Clara mentioned Jesus again in Terms of Endearment. When she saw that Foxxy had a brain tumor, she said that she thought Jesus gave people brain tumors for marrying outside of their race. She then appeared in the confessional, whispering "I'm with you, Jesus. Keep up the good work." He was later seen when Captain Hero was turning back time to the beginning of the world. He was briefly seen being born in Bethlehem in reverse and was then seen as a fetus in Mary's womb. He opened his eyes, and a flash of light happened, which sent Captain Hero back to before the big bang. In the episode The One Wherein There Is a Big Twist, Jesus was mentioned again. Clara said in the confessional that she loves Jesus. She then twirled some of her hair with her finger and blushed, saying that she liked him more than a friend, reveals that Princess Clara has a romantic attraction for Jesus Christ. Later, the girls made a video, where they dressed up as people from Jesus' crucifixion. Clara and Foxxy were portraying to Arabic men, while Toot was portraying Jesus, hanging on the cross. Clara and Foxxy were both whipping Toot and Toot's costume also portrayed the scars on his body. Jesus made his first actual appearance in the episode A Tale of Two Cows, where Toot was crying because nobody loved her and Xandir told her that Jesus probably loved her. The screen then cutaway to Jesus, standing outside the window, fearfully waving his arms no. He was seen dong the same thing again when Toot asked Xandir if he would "stick it in her." when Toot raped Xandir, Jesus was seen at the window, once again, so disgusted by this, vomited all over the window. Additionally, when the rest of the gang drove through South Park, looking for Live Action Cow the Jesus Christ that serves as a recurring character in that show was seen lying down, dead on the ground. Jesus appeared again, this time, making his speaking debut in the episode Unrestrainable Trainable. Clara pushed Wooldoor in the water, mistaking him for a Jew and he started drowing and Clara told him that Jesus would save him. The screen then showed Jesus, sitting in the watch chair as the lifeguard for the pool, laughing at him, believing that Wooldoor was only faking it as a joke. Also mistaking him for a Jew, Jesus said "Heh, look at that Heeb pretending to drown. Ha ha. Oh, those Jews kill me." In the episode Mexican't Buy Me Love, Ling-Ling shouted "Jesus Christo!", which is Spanish for "Jesus Christ!" The subtitles of this quote, however, read "Billy Crystal", but only as a gag. In the episode Lost in Parking Space, Part One, Clara believed that everyone had been raptured and taken to heaven but her. She turned to a talking toy Jesus toy on her wall which resembled the crucifixion of Jesus with a pull string that would make it talk. She asked it why she had been left behind and when she pulled the string, it responded "I love shopping with my girlfriends." It was then she realized that there was a mix up at the toy factory, involving the sound chip for the Jesus toy to be switched with the sound chip for a Barbie doll. A cutaway then showed Georgina with that Barbie doll and when she pulled the string, it responded, lashing out at her in a dark and scary voice, saying "Stop your whoring and sodomizing, sinner! I shall cleanse you in my blood!", making her scream and run away in terror. Jesus was seen again in the audience at the American Idol Parody Clip Show, seen cheering just before the song One House started. This was the same Jesus as the one portrayed in Unrestrainable Trainable, as he was also serving as a lifeguard. Appearance Jesus has been depicted in many different ways over the course of the series. However, the one intended as the official one (Unrestrainable Trainable) is the one that will be described here. Jesus is a strong and well-built man with bronzed skin and long, brown hair. He wears a pair of orange swim trunks and a thorny crown. Jesus has a six pack of abs as a red scar on his chest from when he was crucified. Episode Appearances *Terms of Endearment *A Tale of Two Cows *Unrestrainable Trainable *American Idol Parody Clip Show Category:Characters Category:Minor and recurring characters Category:Males Category:Christians Category:Jews Category:Anti Gay Category:Religious Figures